Fear and Answers ... and a wedding too

It's that time of year again. Every year since I had breast cancer, like millions of other women, it's time for my annual mammogram and check up. It's a hard time. Often we're reminded of the anniversary of when our lives were turned upside down, and there's always worry, fear, holding our breath, hoping the other shoe isn't going to drop. Some women really have a struggle as the time to the next annual check up looms near. All kinds of things play on our minds.

It isn't something we look forward to much, but I've found in the last few days that I do look forward to getting it over and done with for another year. And I'm hoping for answers. Or validation of my recent hunches.

I have a new theory about how I managed to get this hole in my side with it's deep 9cm cavity. The more I look at and consider this theory from various different angles, the more sound and rational it seems. And while most normal doctors wouldn't know or understand it, the breast clinic, especially since the Lymphoedema clinic is attached to it, should recognise.

In the last couple of weeks, my RDNS nurse and I have been noticing that my back has these areas with pockets of fluid that are firm and only on the the side where I've had the reconstruction surgery and the hole is. The thing is, I haven't been too worried about this, as I've been experiencing this since the reconstruction surgery. The odd swellings stop at my spine, like there's a dividing line, but it sometimes extends around my right side to the front to my chest. I've already been diagnosed with lymphoedema in my right arm, and my hunch is that I have it in my trunk too, which is what the odd pockets of fluid in my back are all about.

Lymphoedema is one of the not so well known consequences of having had life saving surgery for cancer, when lymph nodes are removed in order to help stop the spread of cancer, and to access if it's already spread into the lymph nodes. This affects breast cancer patients as the nodes are removed from under the arm. It also affects men who've had prostate cancer surgery as the lymph nodes are removed from where the leg meets the groin area. These nodes are used to help circulate lymph fluid which is something that's just under the skin and helps us fight infections. When the nodes aren't there, the lymph fluid has a harder time getting channeled out and accumulates. It can stagnate and fluid simply continues to build up, causing painful swelling and this can become permanent. Along with the swelling, it can also cause serious infections as it's a breeding ground for bacteria. And of course an infection or in my case, an abscess can cause additional fluid to build up, causing chain reactions like I've experienced with the abscess and now the very slow healing.

I didn't piece all this together though until yesterday. I got to thinking about the random swellings that I've had and how they come and go (and tend to last awhile when they're here). I suppose the fact that it's very uncomfortable and makes it hard to move when half your back is tight and swollen can lead you to think about why it's that way. So I went in search of information and found a web site that is extremely well informed and things like the abscess and recurring infections all fell into place for me. I do have an advantage of sorts if this is the original cause of the abscess and will be an ongoing thing for me to deal with. The Lymphoedema clinic here has Professor Neil Piller, who is a world expert on the subject. I've taken part in a clinical study the clinic did studying the effect of Tai Chi exercise and arm lymphoedema, so it's not like I'm a new patient either.

Anyway, the web site where I found the most interesting information was: http://www.lymphedemapeople.com

This particular page, in fact a lot of web sites, don't discuss truncal lymphoedema much (it's not as common as the type that affects limbs), but it does talk about some of the side effects that I've definitely had too much experience with.

It's not that I want to have this problem... but it would explain and answer so much. I'd much rather be able to put a name to the events I've had to deal with over the last 6 months than to think it was just some weird mysterious random event. I want an answer.

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Well. Gosh. My son got married in the USA today. I'm so sad I wasn't there, but so happy for him and my dear DIL. They are a wonderful couple and I'm just so proud of both of them.